welcome to new york

hello to my fans, sorry it’s been so long since i wrote you. i’m so incredibly busy, it can be hard to remember the little people.

joking, of course, minus the busy part. october has kicked my ass and taken my name, and left me tired, sore, and kinda stinky. time for a shower.

in all the hustle and bustle of my busy life, i recently went to nyc on a whim, marking my third time in the beautiful city. still haven’t been during the summer, but that can be a 2019 goal. however, i have decided that the third time truly is the charm, and now i can claim myself a nyc expert. here are my favorites – the must sees, eats, and dos of the city.

*keep in mind, i love to do some touristy stuff the first time i go somewhere & then usually never again – if it makes this list, its either worth seeing twice or its not a tourist destination/spot you’ve heard of yet*

must see:

brooklyn bridge – this is a personal favorite of mine. take the subway into brooklyn and wander through dumbo, then cross back to manhattan by walking across the bridge. the views are unreal and when you’ve crossed, you’re not far from chinatown, soho, etc.

soho – for me, soho is everything that i love about the city. in midtown, new york feels like any other city – big, shiny buildings and crowded streets. but there’s something about the character in soho that feels so much more new york. get a cocktail, do some shopping, stop by this cute café for a cookie shot – soho can fill up an entire day.

central park – this is truly one of the most beautiful places i have ever been. from the lake to the paths to the zoo – central park has it all. plus gorgeous views of the city from wherever you are. grab a cup of coffee and wander through the park while you enjoy the perfect blend of city and nature (and people watching).

cute neighborhoods to hit:

upper westside for brownstones and pretty much everything that embodies the life i want to live

tribeca for its blend of cityscape and still so much character (brick, cobblestone streets, boutique cafés)

must eat (brunch):

rock and reilly’s – great  spot in midtown, quiet and elevated. loved the smoked salmon pizza

l’amico in nomad – deeeeelicious! this place was a little loud & a little slow but that’s brunch for you. I recommend the lemon ricotta pancakes – the whipped lemon whatever it was that you put on top with the blueberry compote is absolutely heavenly

hotel chantelle in lower east side – i loved this spot for a good boozy brunch, and their smoked salmon platter is not only delicious, but also so instagram worthy. while we were there, there was a live band which was a little bit loud but absolutely phenomenal!

must eat (lunch/snack spots):

the plaza – get your boujee on and splurge a little – you only live once. caviar, champagne, tea and all the delicious finger sandwiches of your dreams in the most beautiful and elevated setting. felt like a princess.

katz deli – delicious meats in the lower east side, known for its scene in when harry met sally (see this movie, seriously) where she fakes her orgasm. and let’s be honest, the food is real-orgasm worthy.

must eat (dinner):

butter in midtown – feel like blair waldorf and the minions in this delicious spot. must get the midtown fizz cocktail & pan seared scallops

catch in meatpacking – this place is unreal. great for shareable bites, and especially for the seafood, we loved the oysters and the sushi rolls

tao – the. fucking. chilean. seabass!!!!!!!! unreal. unrealllll like if you don’t eat this you’re going to die sad. the ambiance is amazing with a very cool asian fusion theme, from the massive buddha in the middle of the room to the dark, moody lighting. also, get the saketini.

must do:

PHD rooftop – the views are incredible here so that alone makes it worthwhile. plus, if you wanna feel super inadequate you can come here and stare at all the insanely pretty people around you.

top of the rock – this is the best view in the city because you can see the empire state building in the skyline rather than being in the tower. it’s only about $35 per person to go up to the top and you can explore three tiers of views, all from the safety of enclosed glass. go at sunset, it’s amazing.

see a live show – so this could be anything from broadway to stand up, but when i went in april my best friend and i saw live with kelly and ryan, which was an amazing opportunity to see how a live show is recorded. so many great shows are recorded in nyc and they are usually free to attend, and if you dress up real cute you can be in the front row (*insert hair flip*) .

let me know if you visit any of these spots, or what your favorites are – i’ll be back again soon so if there’s anything you didn’t see on this list that you’re dying to know about, i’ll be your tester. keep your eye out for my favorites from the bahamas – i leave tomorrow! can’t wait. xox

describe your dream life

i’m sitting in my bed, drinking a glass of delicious red wine, curled up in a furry target blanket, with the sound of my dad hollering in the background. ‘cause i live at home. i’m typing this while i watch gossip girl for the 800th time (get with it) and wondering.. wtf am i doing with my life?

you see, i’ve always been the girl with a vision. fancy car, hot husband, insanely big job title, nannies to care for my children. bangin bod, travel on the regular, and so rich it’s just disgusting. alas, i’m so broke i live at home, eating my parent’s food and using their hot water until my mom complains. listening to them spend 30 minutes debating which beach is the featured beach on apple tv’s screensaver. it’s fucking riveting.

so i’m sitting here watching gossip girl, feeling like dan is probably equivalent to the richest person i’ve ever known (please someone tell me how a poor, washed-up rockstar can afford a massive loft in DUMBO???) and even he is the scum of the earth in NYC. where does that leave me? an extra in the background? lollll.

i mean seriously the wealth in this show fucked me up for a goddamn lifetime. i will never be satisfied. nothing can please me when i’m not living blair waldorf‘s life to the fullest. the dripping gold, diamonds, flowers – the SHOES i mean just the freaking shoes i would die for. sign me up for all this drama i do not give a flying fuck, if this is what i get in exchange. sure their lives are depressing as shit but at least they’re crying on a private jet and not in the poorly lit bathroom at work.

and another note, someone wanna tell me how these girls found such insanely hot guys?! YES EVERYONE I KNOW ITS A TV SHOW please tell me why they’re trying to ruin my expectations for my own life with these gorgeous, rich guys who are obsessed with their girlfriends. i can’t even get my dog to hang out in the same room as me, let alone a human being of the opposite sex. LET ALONE a human being as gorgeous as freaking chase crawford and ed westwick (post-season 3, duh).

also, everyone is skinny. sure, scary skinny, but tell me one time you saw a character work out (other than season 1 when nate goes running with his dad and the guy from dartmouth, of course). they all go to these fancy restaurants and eat pastries for a living while i’m concerned about whether or not i’m in the window of allowed eating time and googling if butter is a carb.

i’m just trying to say that i feel like an epic failure when i look at the lives of these fake rich people (and shoutout to the hills comeback for just continuing that mood) and trying to figure out what i am doing wrong in my life that i’m not living like that. yeah, i already know money isn’t everything, that’s what poor people say, so just go away.

maybe it’s where i live. i mean really, everything interesting happens in an actual city. not in the suburbs 30 miles outside of a relatively interesting city. when’s the last time a sexy, rich tv series was set in fairfax, virginia? never cause it could not be a more boring place to exist, i’m serious. people would watch the show and start protesting the city’s general existence and lameness.

i get that my lifestyle is definitely not helping me to create this dream life since i spend about 90% of my free time in my bed, or drunk. or drunk in my bed. wow, lame. i mean seriously, it’s not like i’m out there going to galas or meeting attractive people at bars i go to alone (how does serena make this look cool and i still make it look insanely sad?). i think my general laziness plays an awfully big role in my discomfort in all aspects of life. will i change? never.

and on that note, i am going to continue the nap i took at my desk today and head to sleep, dreaming of a world where chase crawford shows up at my door, whisks me away to la and then actually i meet a super rich and hot and famous athlete that i end up marrying. you know, always shoot for newer, better goals.