routine check-up

We all hear about the importance of a morning routine lately – it’s every influencer’s favorite topic and every entrepreneur’s secret to success. But for the rest of us – the normal, everyday people stuck at home, with limited income or view of anything outside our apartment walls – are routines actually that necessary?

For me & my anxiety, the answer is undoubtedly: YES. When I slip up on my routines, or choose to relax a little on my daily schedule, I immediately notice a shift in my day, mood, and reaction to the world around me. Routines have kept me sane for years, but especially now in quarantine while working from home, paired of course with increased depression and anxiety, I have relied on routines far more than before. I don’t think routine makes me an exceptional employee, or a fitness guru, or a budding CEO, but they do level me out from general anxieties, and help me sleep, work, and achieve my daily short and long term goals that I otherwise let slip. My routines help me stay on track, motivated, grounded, and stable no matter what else is going on around me. For that peace of mind, I have basic routines for morning, noon, and night.

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Morning Routine

I like to start my mornings with a little extra time before work to focus on my intentions for the day, spend time with my dog, Kali, and get a healthy mindset before diving into work. This routine helps me keep goals front of mind to carry through the rest of the day and a foundation of mindfulness I return to when external sources could potentially shift my mood or increase my anxiety. Some days I work out in the morning, some days I don’t – there is room for some spontaneity but still a sense of structure. I think it’s important to have a routine to guide you, but be able to make adjustments as you need each day/week. This routine is a foundation to start, and anything I supplement or change I make sure is still in the same energy – mindfulness, meditation, goal setting, movement, clearing & energizing.

6:30 – wake up, make a glass of warm or room temperature water with lemon, and start a manifestation course through To Be Magnetic

7:00 – 10 minute guided meditation and 2-3 pages of morning brain dump/morning pages

7:20 – 1 mild walk with Kali and a motivational, educational, or entertainment podcast

7:45 – clean up around the apartment, set up my space for the day OR yoga practice if feeling the space is clean and ready

8:15 – shower, skincare

8:30 – make my cup of coffee and start work

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Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.

Mahatma Gandhi

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Midday Routine

Typically by lunch time I am itching to get moving again, or else I’ll end up taking a lunch time nap and spiraling into a lazy depression from there. If I can get up and moving, clean up whatever messes I have created, and spend another 30 minutes to an hour focused on re-grounding myself, it’s a successful day. My lunch time cardio typically consists of light jogging or incline walking on a treadmill. Sometimes I will watch Netflix or listen to a podcast, sometimes I just have music playing, but either way it’s an opportunity to step away from the rest of my life and my day and do something entirely for myself. Additionally, I have found that healthy eating habits as a part of my routine have made a world of difference. I feel entirely better having a salad for lunch than I do having pasta, but some days are better than others. At times I make a fresh kale salad, and other times it’s post-workout pizza, mac and cheese, or a frozen burrito. Again, I try to give myself some grace but know that conscious healthy decisions and patterns leave me feeling better day to day and in the long run.

12:00 – walk with kali, or cardio in the gym (put roomba on so floors are vacuumed upon return)

1:00 – take a shower, make lunch (ideally a salad)

1:30 – clean up lunch mess and organize desk/area for rest of the day

3:00 – 15 min walk with Kali

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Evening Routine

By 5:30, I’m logging off of my computer (ideally) and, though I am still in the same spot I was during my work day, I try and kick back and relax. Evenings can be far less structured for me because I have spent the day prioritizing my goals, movement, my health, and my space. I typically start dinner prep with the goal of eating around 7pm, but it depends what’s on the menu each night. Some nights it’s Chipotle and I lay on the couch until 6:45 when I head out for pickup, and some days I’ve started dinner as soon as I log off. My routine again is more about setting up opportunities for success than it is setting a rigid, mandated schedule.

5:30 – log off from work, watch tv, chat with friends

6:30 – start dinner

7:00 – eat dinner

7:30 – clean up kitchen

8:00 – bath, read a book (typically something fun & fiction)

8:30 – watch tv & relax OR do some computer work/online courses, have a glass or two of wine and/or dessert

9:30 – clean up any knick knacks that accumulated throughout the day, wipe down counters, set up any necessary items for next morning (mug, lemon, notepad)

10pm – sleep!! aka my favorite part of the day

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Hopefully this breakdown of my morning, noon, and nightly routines gives you some ideas for your day and reminds you of how much better you feel when you stick to a schedule. Having daily targets and a sense of structure help achieve both short and long term goals and allow for a productive day, rather than the bed-and-netflix spiral I have been prone to in the past, and especially now with quarantine. This post is as much a reminder for me when I get off track as it is for others. The power of consistency and routine can change your attitude and change your life.

If you have any question, tips, recommendations, or want to share your routine, comment below or let me know on my Instagram, @hannahfaithprice!

EFT – tapping your way through a pandemic, a worldwide movement, and your daily anxieties

As some of you may know, and as many can relate, I have anxiety. For many of us, our anxiety has largely been exacerbated during this time. While my personal situation during this worldwide pandemic has been truly a blessing, and many are far less fortunate than I, there are still aspects of this time that have put me into anxious spiral. In addition, the conversations around and continued learning of racism and the Black Lives Matter movement has added to a lot of the concern, stress, and anxiety. While all of this is extremely important and I by no means intend to take away from or diminish the responsibility of people in doing this work, maintaining mental health practices and decreasing anxiety so we can continue the conversations we need to be having is also necessary.

In order to help others, you must help yourself.

Throughout quarantine, I have significantly increased daily practices in meditation, yoga, and self care, which have aided in significant overall improvements. However, when I feel a particularly crippling wave heading my way, I have started implementing EFT practices and felt wonderful results for my anxieties.

If you haven’t heard of EFT, I believe it can be an extremely helpful technique, especially while we are distanced in so many ways. EFT, or emotional freedom technique, is a tapping technique to help reduce anxiety. It is based on similar principles to acupuncture and the points on your body that can effect your mood, health, wellness, and more. For me, EFT has been especially enjoyable because it is free, personalized, easy, and requires no doctors visit, therapists office, or prescription. I have not found a prescription that suited my needs and am not actively on a therapy routine, and while I am no doctor and not suggesting anyone use EFT to replace the medications and support systems you need, it has been an easy supplement to my daily mental health routine that is simple and anyone can do.

Here are some basic steps below:

1. Start by identifying, if possible, the root of the anxiety
   • This can be hard, especially for me when I often have generalized anxiety that I struggle to pinpoint or find triggers of.
   • What works best for me is to acknowledge my feelings around the anxiety in the moment, identify any common denominators, and try to use whatever phrase I can come up with to verbalize the problem to myself
   • For example, anxiety can come on for me often times when I have been laying on the couch for several hours at a time, binge watching seemingly mindless tv (Gossip Girl, RHONY, or the like) and comparing myself in countless ways to characters or situations I am seeing. I then often realize these feelings come on because I am perceiving myself as lazy, or wasting time or letting my life slip past me, or I am a failure. I often uncontrollably fear I will not amount to “someone”.
2. While tapping the side of your hand (karate chop point), repeat to yourself “Even though I have insert problem, I deeply and completely accept myself” three times.
   • Following the example above, the sentence I would repeat to myself would be “Even though I am not where I want to be in life, I deeply and completely accept myself”.
   • For this and all following tapping, I use my middle finger to gently and repeatedly tap. It is neither fast nor slow, but it is an intentional tapping that I am focused on while I repeat my mantra to myself and go through the exercise
3. Then, tap each of the following zones 7 times in this order:
   • start of the eyebrow
   • outer corner of the eye
   • under eye
   • under nose/above lips
   • center chin
   • start of the collarbone
   • under the arm
   • top of the head
4. Repeat steps 1-4 until anxiety reduces

I hope you find this technique helpful for you as we all navigate the pandemic, the worldwide movement, and the difficulties we face in our personal lives. Acknowledging my anxiety, sitting with it, facing it, and accepting ourselves in spite of it is the healthiest way for me to heal it more quickly and for longer periods of time.

If you have any questions about EFT or other practices I am implementing in quarantine, please leave a comment below.

Please know you are loved, supported, appreciated, and needed in this world!

from pageant to pudgy: my untransformation & body image struggles

do you ever look back on a photograph of yourself, and instead of remembering the moment or that time of your life, you simply stare at how different you look now than you did then?

maybe you’ve changed your hair, or have better style. for many of us, our eyebrows were terrible until the last few years (thank you, anastasia beverly hills). or maybe you see what i see the most – a completely different body.

instead of looking back at the memories and missing old friends, or laughing about fun trips, i stare at how slim my arms were, or how toned my thighs used to be. i see the definition in my stomach and the clothes i was once comfortable in. and instead of reliving fun memories, i find myself angry at the body i now know, and frustrated for losing the one i once had.

as most people, in high school i had the metabolism of a cheetah. i could eat whatever i wanted while avoiding the gym at all cost and maintaining a thin frame. sure, i was never model-tiny by any means, and i could’ve been more toned had my diet and workout been under control, but i was a teenager and that hadn’t been a priority. i came home from school, made chocolate milk, whipped up an entire box of macaroni for myself, and took a nap.

when i started competing in pageants at 17, not much changed. i had been required to join the tennis team for school, so there had been some physical exertion i was previously great at avoiding, but my diet remained stable. i ate what i wanted when i wanted it and never thought twice. the night before my first pageant, when i knew i would have to walk in front of a thousand people in a swimsuit the very next day, i stress-ate an entire tub of chocolate chip cookie dough. i’m talking the big, round tub that makes eighty million cookies, consumed by a then small-framed 17 year old girl shoveling her feelings into her face. the next day, i put on my two piece, walked the stage in tight gowns, and won my first pageant.

18 years old competing at miss washington 2012

looking back on that moment just reminds me how i have always been dependent on food. food has been my rock for my entire life. it is a constant in my ever-changing life and has helped me to balance navigating my teens and now 20s. so now that my metabolism doesn’t want to participate anymore at 25 years old, i am stuck in the body of a woman i do not know. i went from ‘hollow-legged hannah’ for almost 21 years, eating anything in sight like there was no tomorrow, to counting every carb, sugar, fat, protein into my body because i have gained over 40 pounds out of the blue. it sometimes feels like i am living someone else’s life.

i went from an always confident pageant queen, waltzing down runways and posting photos of myself all of the time, to someone who hides in her clothes and scrutinizes every item in her closet and every photo before its allowed to be seen by others. even with this blog, it has been so difficult to keep momentum when everything i put on was bought for a body severals tens of pounds lighter than the one i have now. everything is tight, highlights the unwanted, and just brings me back to that feeling of disappointment in the one thing that is mine and only mine. i’ve gone up at least 3 sizes, 4 in some brands. and yes, size doesn’t matter and weight is just a number – but it’s more than that. i’m not obese, and i know weight gain is a natural part of aging. it’s less the weight itself and more the fact that i barely recognize myself anymore.

25, working out in nyc for fashion week

sure, i’ve worked out and eaten clean and lost the weight in the past. i’ve never gotten back to my pageant weight, but i’ve been closer over the last handful of years. but it never lasts. i workout, restrict myself, cry over food and stare at the scale for hours so i can wear that one swimsuit on my senior year spring break to cabo, just to gain all of it back and then some. it’s never been sustainable. no one else in my life diets or worries about their weight or actively works out, and it is almost impossible to keep that momentum going when your surroundings are fighting you on it constantly.

but that’s what this blog was meant to be – a community where you and i can relate, be honest and learn from each other. i can wallow in this self-pity again, blame my metabolism or the programs i’ve tried and given up on, or the people who are in my life who don’t have to worry the way i do. or, i can build a new community to support each other, and try again. every time i fail a diet, or fail a workout program, i call it just that – “failure”. but it’s not – it’s progress. and not finishing a program or perfectly following a diet doesn’t mean that i can’t make progress again in the future. i still have the time, energy, resources, and functioning body that allows me to make a change if i so choose.

for the month of may, i have decided i’m going to do 30 minutes of cardio every single day. i can be running, walking, jogging, on an incline or not. just simply moving my body for a minimum of 30 minutes a day. my goal is that this is a small enough change that it is impossible to not do. making big, life-altering changes won’t help me in the long run, and i’d rather be healthy and happy forever than for one vacation.

you can follow my instagram stories for my daily posts of my cardio. hold me accountable, people! this blog, instagram, fitness – it all needs to be a community. and if you want to join me, let me know in the comments! or DM me! i would love to do this journey with you. maybe together we can learn to love our bodies the way they are, for all the amazing things they can do, and stop concerning ourselves with the way they used to be.

glowing? why thank u

foundation – fenty beauty

blush – nars (orgasm)

bronzer – benefit cosmetics

highlight – becca (champagne pop)

shadow – chanel gold creme

brows – anastasia beverly hills dipbrow (chocolate)

mascara – milk kush mascara

lashes – ardell (natural 110)

all products can be purchased at sephora!

no, that’s just my facial massager

for the last three weeks, every weekday, i have been engaging in *facial massage*.

i’m sure by now you’ve heard of this, unless you live under a rock or actually listen to things of importance instead of podcasts about your skin. but if you haven’t, i’m here to give you the scoop & my version of the perfect facial massage.

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i first learned about facial massage from The Skinny Confidential, a blog and podcast i’m disgustingly obsessed with. author and podcaster lauryn evarts mentions ‘lymphatic drainage‘ like ten times every episode, so i dug a little deeper to learn what she was talking about.

little had i known, your face actually holds a lot of fluids that are a part of your lymphatic system. this system helps drain toxins from your body, but can often become stagnant because they have nothing keeping them flowing. typically, the lymphatic system flows due to exercise and massage – hence, facial massage.

lymphatic massage for your face does wonders. it reduces puffiness, dark circles, and helps show off the contouredness of your cheeks and jawline (sorry kim k, guess i don’t need your contour kit after all). while you can get one professionally done by your esthetician, which i’m sure is the superior method, us budget-gals gotta diy that shit.

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first, buy a little vibrating massager FOR YOUR FACE on amazon. yes it’s weird but just do it. i bought this one for a couple bucks and it came in like two days. i love the bar because i feel like it delivers a more focused massage.

next, wash & oil your face. i’ll be writing a blog post on this soon too, but oil is so so so great for your skin, even (& especially!) if you’re already oily.

now, you can be an overachiever like me and do this massage in the car while you’re driving to work listening to podcasts, or you could wake up early enough like a proper adult to do this before putting on your makeup not at your desk.

i always start at my forehead – go from the center of your head to the end of the eyebrow in one direction 15-20 times. this is draining the fluid from your forehead to your temples. i like to do one side and then the other, but i don’t think it really matters. work the whole forehead from hairline to brow bone.

next i do my eyes. this is the part where i spend a lot of time, because i tend to have pretty puffy under eyes from the loads of salt i consume on a daily basis (working on that). i start at the nose and glide over the puffiness to my temple and repeat another 15-20 times. then i move a little lower and repeat over the cheek.

by now, i’m feeling like there’s a frog in my throat from all the fluid that’s getting moved around – but that’s okay! just means it’s working and fluid is being drained from the face.

next i do from my mouth to my ear 15-20 times, and along my chin to my ear another 15-20. always do this massage as if your face is in half, rather than going from one ear to the other. always start in the center and work out.

lastly, i drain whatever is left. starting at the temple, i move down past my ear and down my neck. this helps drain from the neck too so i don’t look like some roided out 90s athlete. once i’ve done that 15-20 times, i go from the jawline to the collarbone in straight lines.

et voila! a beautiful, contoured face pre-makeup. this has become a staple in my day-to-day beauty routine and i feel tighter and less puffy. long term benefits also include reduction of wrinkles and fine lines, which i’m already hyper aware of at 24 (and you should be too!)

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give facial massage a try by using your fingers first if you want, before moving to a tool! let me know your thoughts & if you love the benefits. also let me know how you do yours! focused me-time? passive multi-tasking? either way, enjoy!

evolve with pvolve

jesus christ – if you’re looking for a workout that makes you shake, stretch, tone, & sore all at once (while also appearing ridiculously and laughably easy), then you’re in the right spot. pvolve is for you. use my code PVOLVEPRICE for 30 days of free streaming!

i mean seriously, this workout is magic. in one hour (ideally less) i tone, stretch, and push my muscles to the limit all while streaming from my phone. talk about making life easy.

summary for lazy readers: pvolve is an amazing streamable workout that you can do anywhere, with or without equipment, & see immediate results! get 30 days completely free streaming with my personal code PVOLVEPRICE

over the “holiday” weekend (LOL), i did the pvolve 3 day challenge. holy fudge it’s a killer. each workout is a little longer than usual (1hr – 1hr 20min) but they target all over your damn body and make you sweat like crazy. on saturday i took before pics, and tuesday morning took my afters.

the ONLY thing i changed over these three days was my workout. bible. on saturday i drank vodka/gin/champagne & ate everything (brie, deviled eggs, shrimp, tacos, truffle fries), sunday i had pancakes, a tuna melt, and popcorn with sriracha (!!), & monday i had chicken, steak, mashed potatoes and a fuck load of cookies. and only worked out once a day for those three days. this is still my transformation:

YES I KNOW IM STILL CHUNKY thank you trolls. but on another note, WTF?! how did the bloat go down… how did the stomach get flatter… i’m even wanting to call “photoshop!!”, but it’s so fucking not. its just the power of pvolve.

now mind you, i did these workouts with 0 equipment, for two reasons. first, i don’t have any of the equipment so what other choice did I have? second, & more important (pretending this is the real reason), i wanted to be able to show people that pvolve can transform your body quickly, easily, and with no equipment. all you need is your cell phone, and ideally some wireless headphones so you aren’t that girl at the gym full-blast streaming her awkward fucking model workout (💁🏼‍♀️).

honest to god though, i love this workout. 8 reps per move, never more, and you move on. tiny, focused movements that target small but powerful muscles in your body to tone and lean out as much as you can dream possible. plus, it’s recommended to avoid cardio and heavy lifting while doing pvolve, because the workout focuses on anti-inflammatory training – in other words, it reduces the stress swelling on your muscles when you do heavy or intense impact & makes your body tighter because of this.

so i’ve decided to keep doing pvolve religiously, more than i already was, just cause now i have proof from myself that it works. i hope you join me cause you see it works & cause you know you get 30 days free streaming with my code PVOLVEPRICE.

before, i was doing it because the VS models do it, but now i’m just gonna become one – look out world!!!

let’s get fucked up

anyone who knows me knows that 90% of my diet is alcohol. wine, martinis, margaritas, mojitos, i love them all. & i’ve never been one to discriminate against a certain type of liquor, as i’m sure that list just clarified for you. so, as your resident budding-alcoholic, here are some of my favorite recipes for some of my favorite drinks.

first though – invest in a damn bar kit. yes, it makes a difference when you shake versus stir. go to your local home goods and fork up the $7 for the jig and shaker and mace, you’ll be glad you did.

dirty martini

• fuck load of ice
• grey goose
• dry vermouth
• olive juice

first things first, the key to a killer martini is that it is fucking FREEZING cold. i start by filling up my shaker with a crap load of ice for this one.

2 shots grey goose, 1/2 shot DRY vermouth (at the most), 1/2 shot olive juice – we’re talking straight from the jar of green olives in your fridge. we literally keep a jar that no longer has olives just simply for the juice.

pour all this good stuff on top of the ice in the shaker and shake that bad boy like we all know you know how 😉 sorry grandma. pour into a chilled martini glass. we got a cute matching vintage set from happy hour in old town alexandria.

mojito

• mint
• limes
• simple syrup
• bacardi
• club soda

this one is delicious and so refreshing, and has become my summertime go-to. start with your empty shaker and toss a ton of mint in there – they say 10 leaves per drink but i like mine really minty. squeeze 1/2 lime on top and pour a generous tablespoon of simple syrup on top. now mash the shit out of that (add crushed ice if you need help really smashing). fill the shaker with ice and pour 2 shots of bacardi over the top before you shake this one to death. the more shaking the better, as it breaks up the mint even more and gets it that super refreshing taste. pour over a glass with ice and top with 1/2 can of club soda (about 4 oz). stir, with your cool stir stick if you listened to me and bought a set. yum.

margarita

• tequila
• limes
• simple syrup
• cointreau
• salt
• grand marnier

stop with the fake store-bought mix shit. i’m so over that. i won’t even order margaritas at a restaurant anymore if they use a pre-made mix. first off, its just straight sugar and is guaranteed to give you a headache. secondly, my recipe has tons more liquor in it so you can get fucked up even faster.

in your shaker filled with ice, pour 3 shots tequila (idc if its gold or silver personally), juice of a lime, 1 shot simple syrup, and 1/2 – 1 shot cointreau. cointreau is an orange liqueur that just adds a yummy kick. shake and pour into a salt rimmed glass (i use the lime to get the rim wet before putting it in the salt, so you get the lime flavor) filled with ice. top with a floater of grand marnier. ugh i’m salivating rn.

gimlet

• gin or vodka
• simple syrup
• lime

gimlets are good with gin or vodka, but i prefer gin for mine. this one is easy – 2 shots gin, 1 shot simple syrup, 1/2 lime in a shaker filled with ice. shake and serve baby. love this one because its quick, easy, and tastes like sugar so you can pound these bad boys easilyyyyy.

old fashioned

okay, i don’t drink these, but if any men read this blog (lmao) then you probably wanted to see a recipe on something like this.

• water
• sugar cubes
• angostura bitters
• bullet rye
• orange peel

in a glass, muddle a spoonful of water, one sugar cube, and 3-4 drops of bitters. add 2 shots bullet rye and ice. stir for one minute (apparently this duration matters). slide an orange peel across the rim of a chilled glass and drop into the glass with a large ice cube. strain the mixture into the glass & enjoy!

shots

my favorite shot is one of these three:

• fireball no chase
• raspberry vodka with a lemon wedge covered in sugar (shot then lemon)
• captain & dr. pepper – literally can’t do any other soda

anything i missed? any drinks you want me to learn to make so i can get drunk trying the recipes out for you? let me know.

easy, breezy, beautiful, cover squirrel

today i am blessing your feeds with my stunning face. you’re welcome.

shop all the products used in the links below!

Tinted Moisturizer – Laura Mercier in Porcelain

Concealer – Mac Pro Longwear Concealer in NC15

Setting Powder – Cover FX in Translucent Light

Sponges – Sephora Collection

Concealer Brush – Sephora Collection

Contour – Sephora Collection Contour Powder in Tranquil

Contour Brush – Kat Von D Powder Contour Brush

Foundation Brush – Marc Jacobs Beauty Sculpting Foundation Brush

Blending Brush – Sephora Collection Pro Contour Highlights Brush

Bronzer – Benefit Hoola Matte Bronzer

Bronzer Brush – Sephora Collection Classic Contour Powder Brush

Blush – Nars Orgasm

Blush Brush – Sephora Collection Pro Stippling Brush

Highlight – Laura Mercier Indiscretion

Brow Pencil – Anastasia Beverly Hills Browwiz in Chocolate

Mascara – Kush by Milk

my skincare ritual

those who know me know this is huge – i have a skincare routine. i know, it’s wild. the way a parent feels when they see their baby walk for the first time is nothing compared to the joy this brings my friends.

summary for lazy readers: never did skincare, now i do, wash your face, use exfoliators, toss in a toner, oil is good for you, sunscreen is crucial, don’t get crepey, clean your pillowcases, sicko 

as a long-time makeup wearer, acne sufferer, and skincare novice, i recently decided to fix my skin both inside (read more on my new keto diet here) and out. acne just is so 2007 (if you’ve seen the short hair pic, you know) and at the ripe age of 24, i figured i better start now.

usually for me, skincare after a night out (or frankly even just a regular day) consisted of: go to sleep. no makeup wipes. no washing. no eye makeup remover. gross. then i would sleep on the same damn pillow case i slept on the night before in my nasty makeup, wake up in the morning, MAYBE rinse my face in the shower and apply makeup, again. rinse and repeat.

this left me with “fine” skin – i’ve never been the girl with small pores or an even skintone, and i’ve always had closed comedones (those fugly little white bumps that just never go away). finally i have been fed up and decided to start being better about my face.

now, i wake up in the morning and wash my face with Dr. Dennis Gross’s Alpha Beta Peel wash, just using warm water and my hands. i pat dry, put on a few drops of Josie Maran Light Argan Oil and Sunday Riley UFO Oil and rub it in before applying my makeup. in the evenings, i come home and take off my makeup with a generic wipe. i’m not picky about this because to me, they’re all the same. i wash my face with my Murad anti-acne cleanser and my Clarisonic Mia, and pat dry. every other night i then exfoliate with Boscia’s super weird but super effective gel exfoliator, and rinse off with a towel (that shit gets all in my peach fuzz so i need a little washcloth assistance). pat dry, tone with Kate Sommerville Toner, finish with a few drops of Josie Maran & Sunday Riley again, and i’m good to go to bed. this sounds time consuming, but i swear it isn’t. maybe 5 minutes MAX if i’m being a suuuuper slow poke about it. there’s no excuse, just do it. i don’t care if you’re drunk or at your man’s house, he’ll be grateful in the long run too. already in just 2 weeks of mostly consistent focus on this routine, i’ve cleared up a ton of those closed commedones. lots of people have commented on my skin actually, which is a fun feeling.

*quick note – if you’re reading this and you’re like ‘whoa that’s a lot of fucking oil you pschopath’ then you know nothing, jane doe (slight GOT reference there). oily skin ESPECIALLY needs oil – your skin produces oil because it isn’t getting enough! then the oil your skin makes turns into your acne. if you provide your skin with the oil it craves, it doesn’t have to produce the gross stuff that makes you breakout. oil yourself, you’ll thank me later*

one of the most CRUCIAL parts of my new skincare routine has been sunscreen. i have never been a sunscreen wearer. everrrrrr. for the longest time i would bed tan, spray tan, suntan, anything to get a solid glow. if you’ve never cocktailed your tan before, you’re missing out. BUT i’ve changed. new me.

you see, i realized that wrinkles are not cool. and as a person who is blessed with oily skin, i know i have less likelihood of getting major, deep wrinkles, but i want to look young forever i’ve decided, and the sun doesn’t help much with that. i would rather be 80 with tight baby’s butt skin and a crap load of bronzer on than 50 with crepey, drapey skin. not sexy.

my biggest tip when it comes to sunscreen is do the places you don’t think of doing. when you see an old lady, you know she’s old by a few things. sure, her hair is thinning and her wardrobe is less than contemporary, but if you truly look at her, it’s often the quality of a woman’s skin that leaves us thinking she’s older than she is. think sun spots and thin skin. this isn’t just on her face either, its her neck, chest, and hands. those are my number 1 sunscreen spots now, because they are the most sun-seen and the quickest to show your age. anti aging is all about preventative measures, so why not start now.

i am currently using the Peter Thomas Roth powder sunscreen because it goes over my makeup or on my chest, neck, or hands without ANY residue. it’s easy to pack so i can reapply throughout the day and always have with me. a necessity for anyone who hates regular sunscreen as much as i do.

my last tip is wash your damn pillowcases, you nasty. okay, yes, i’m guilty too, but we all have to be better about this. it’s funny because even since starting this new regimen, one side of my face is wayyyyy smoother than the other – the other being the side i most often sleep on.

if you think about how nasty a pillowcase is, you might be inclined to follow my advice. first, your dirty skin is sleeping on it all night long. ‘oh but i just washed and exfoliated and toned, my skin isn’t dirty’. listen karen, you’re an idiot and your skin is still dirty. it’s skin, and you don’t live in a creepy sterile lab. i hope. sure, you’re better off than you were before but in two seconds you’re gonna touch your face again with your damn hands and lord knows where those have been. so imagine your dirty nasty face, and your dirty nasty hands all up against that pillowcase all night long, just having a bacteria party. then throw in your hair – greasy, freshly clean, wet, dry, i don’t care, that stuff is getting all over your pillowcase and helping to plan your demise. you can wash your face all day long but if you keep spending 8+ hours a night on a dirty pillowcase, you’ll see limited results.

i’m not saying to change your pillowcase every night because hello we all have lives and we aren’t serial killers with a million pillowcases. but it could be good to have either cycling pillows (meaning one night you sleep on one, then a different one the next, yada yada yada until you’ve run out of pillows) or change your pillowcase out every few days. if you’re like me, washing your sheets doesn’t happen nearly as often as you pretend it does, so just keep a nice little pile of pillowcases for your lazy i-dont-wanna-strip-the-bed days and keep your skin bright and shiny.

you’ll thank me later. or you can do it now. you’re welcome.

keto diet – the good, the bad, the cheesy

so i recently started the keto diet, and i’m here to tell you that HOLY SHIT it’s amazing.

summary for lazy readers: keto means no carbs, black coffee is gross, i eat a lot of cheese, keto leaves me feeling happy and not deprived, water is crucial, don’t try eating out, stamp of approval

if you don’t know already from the major hype, netflix documentary, pinterest recipe overload or just from your weird friend Melody who tries every diet under the sun, the keto diet is practically no/low-carbs. in other words, you eat less than 20g of carbs per day with the idea that your body begins to burn fat as fuel instead of carbs, resulting in major weight loss.

yes, there’s more to it. no, i don’t know more. i read the words “fast weight loss” and stopped reading there. apparently you actually are supposed to like count other macros and do all these ratios and stuff but frankly cutting carbs requires enough thought as it is that i just quit on the other crap. which seems to be working.

here’s a day in the life of my keto diet – mind you, i am also intermittent fasting because i’m crazy and can’t just be healthy and love my body, i have to torture it like some sick masochist seeking a thrill. in other words, i only eat from noon til 8pm in order for my body to process foods differently. more on that another time.

first things first, i drink my coffee black. i drink it in my teal blue yeti because i am basic, and its the cheap keurig stuff that’s like off-brand starbucks. so yes, it does taste like ass, thanks for asking. but nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, amiright?

after drinking my coffee as slowly as humanly possible, i break into snack time around 12. now mind you, i have had about a half gallon of water at this point because lemon water is supposedly unreal for digestion and helping with weight loss. i do my big 32 oz bottle with extra *extra* ice because warm water is for serial killers and squeeze some lemon juice in. i would love to say i use fresh lemons, but i don’t. this is mostly because they are so hit and miss sometimes and i don’t want weird water.

snack time usually consists of strawberries (no more than 7, cause each strawberry actually is 1 CARB WHICH IS RUDE, SCIENCE) and a babybel cheese, just the regular kind. i like to eat mine kinda warm so usually i will hold it in my hand still wrapped in the wax while i eat my strawberries, then i can enjoy it warm. yes it’s odd, but it’s not harming you so lay off.

then i work out. lately i have been doing 20 minutes on the stairstepper and 20 minutes on the treadmill. i try to do this with as little food in my belly as possible because i read a headline once that said fasted cardio was good for you, so here i am. but since i don’t workout until 1/2p, i usually have to have my snack first.

okay, so now it’s time for lunch and i actually thought this was going to be harder, but it’s not been bad at all. cutting out carbs is hard and does require some initial thought, but i have already gotten the hang of some pretty simple things. so for instance, i like to have fish or chicken and veggies for lunch, with my third 32oz water. i do use a lot of salt as some of you may know, so i’m sure that’s holding me back but that’s a risk we’re just gonna have to take. i like lemon salmon or tuna – tuna you can actually eat without pissing off your coworkers cause you don’t have to heat it up. a half can of tuna with mayonnaise has 0 carbs so in other words, its healthy. i like to do that with some green beans (1/2 cup max) or broccoli. at this point in the day, i’ve likely consumed about 10g of carbs overall.

afternoon snack, more cheese. that’s the best part of this diet. it doesn’t feel like a diet. sure, i can’t have bread or chips or pasta or garlic mashed potatoes but who needs any of those amazing and delicious things anyway?! i do, but i’m learning to be okay without them because i actually don’t feel deprived on this diet. i think for me it’s less difficult with only one food or food group being ‘banned’, so i can still enjoy so many other things, like cheese.

but damn cheese is good. i would recommend cheese on everything if you’re going keto, because it actually is supposedly part of the diet. score. i guess you’re supposed to eat a pretty solid amount of fats, and cheese can get you there. if i were doing breakfast, my ideal day would probably start with some sort of very cheesy egg scramble topped with extra cheese. anyway.

for dinner i usually do something similar to my lunch, although i’ve tried keto lettuce wraps, keto chicken asparagus casserole, and keto chicken salad. there’s actually tons to choose from and make without feeling limited. by this time its almost 8p, so i’m finished eating anyway and have only consumed about 15g of carbs all day.

the only hard part for me so far has been eating out. it’s impossible, truly. “can’t you just order a salad” no helen, i can’t, and even if i could i wouldn’t eat a freaking salad, i’m not a rabbit. unfortunately for those of you who do enjoy salad, they’re usually a no-no too, since dressings are packed with sugars ie carbs. i guess you could do a salad with olive oil or something but then you’re really just rabbit status and i don’t know if that’s a life worth living for me. if i do go out, i always cheat. that’s the big takeaway here – this diet is soooo doable if your meals are planned. hell, it’s even doable with intermittent fasting AND cutting out alcohol (mostly) which you guys know is a huge win for me. but if you don’t plan your meals out, you’ll end up at on the border ordering guacamole live as your main dish and eating your weight in fried, salty, heavenly chips that you later cry about in the girls bathroom. don’t do it to yourself. if your friends don’t love you while you give yourself a little self care, fuck em.

parting thoughts – i have lost 5 pounds in the last 8 or so days, and i feel amazing. i feel way less bloated, my energy feels great, and i feel hyper focused. now mind you, there are a lot of moving parts to these things (i’ve started meditation, i’m finally writing again, i’m working out pretty regularly) but i do think the keto helps, a lot. i’ll keep doing it and keep keeping you updated.