routine check-up

We all hear about the importance of a morning routine lately – it’s every influencer’s favorite topic and every entrepreneur’s secret to success. But for the rest of us – the normal, everyday people stuck at home, with limited income or view of anything outside our apartment walls – are routines actually that necessary?

For me & my anxiety, the answer is undoubtedly: YES. When I slip up on my routines, or choose to relax a little on my daily schedule, I immediately notice a shift in my day, mood, and reaction to the world around me. Routines have kept me sane for years, but especially now in quarantine while working from home, paired of course with increased depression and anxiety, I have relied on routines far more than before. I don’t think routine makes me an exceptional employee, or a fitness guru, or a budding CEO, but they do level me out from general anxieties, and help me sleep, work, and achieve my daily short and long term goals that I otherwise let slip. My routines help me stay on track, motivated, grounded, and stable no matter what else is going on around me. For that peace of mind, I have basic routines for morning, noon, and night.

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Morning Routine

I like to start my mornings with a little extra time before work to focus on my intentions for the day, spend time with my dog, Kali, and get a healthy mindset before diving into work. This routine helps me keep goals front of mind to carry through the rest of the day and a foundation of mindfulness I return to when external sources could potentially shift my mood or increase my anxiety. Some days I work out in the morning, some days I don’t – there is room for some spontaneity but still a sense of structure. I think it’s important to have a routine to guide you, but be able to make adjustments as you need each day/week. This routine is a foundation to start, and anything I supplement or change I make sure is still in the same energy – mindfulness, meditation, goal setting, movement, clearing & energizing.

6:30 – wake up, make a glass of warm or room temperature water with lemon, and start a manifestation course through To Be Magnetic

7:00 – 10 minute guided meditation and 2-3 pages of morning brain dump/morning pages

7:20 – 1 mild walk with Kali and a motivational, educational, or entertainment podcast

7:45 – clean up around the apartment, set up my space for the day OR yoga practice if feeling the space is clean and ready

8:15 – shower, skincare

8:30 – make my cup of coffee and start work

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Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.

Mahatma Gandhi

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Midday Routine

Typically by lunch time I am itching to get moving again, or else I’ll end up taking a lunch time nap and spiraling into a lazy depression from there. If I can get up and moving, clean up whatever messes I have created, and spend another 30 minutes to an hour focused on re-grounding myself, it’s a successful day. My lunch time cardio typically consists of light jogging or incline walking on a treadmill. Sometimes I will watch Netflix or listen to a podcast, sometimes I just have music playing, but either way it’s an opportunity to step away from the rest of my life and my day and do something entirely for myself. Additionally, I have found that healthy eating habits as a part of my routine have made a world of difference. I feel entirely better having a salad for lunch than I do having pasta, but some days are better than others. At times I make a fresh kale salad, and other times it’s post-workout pizza, mac and cheese, or a frozen burrito. Again, I try to give myself some grace but know that conscious healthy decisions and patterns leave me feeling better day to day and in the long run.

12:00 – walk with kali, or cardio in the gym (put roomba on so floors are vacuumed upon return)

1:00 – take a shower, make lunch (ideally a salad)

1:30 – clean up lunch mess and organize desk/area for rest of the day

3:00 – 15 min walk with Kali

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Evening Routine

By 5:30, I’m logging off of my computer (ideally) and, though I am still in the same spot I was during my work day, I try and kick back and relax. Evenings can be far less structured for me because I have spent the day prioritizing my goals, movement, my health, and my space. I typically start dinner prep with the goal of eating around 7pm, but it depends what’s on the menu each night. Some nights it’s Chipotle and I lay on the couch until 6:45 when I head out for pickup, and some days I’ve started dinner as soon as I log off. My routine again is more about setting up opportunities for success than it is setting a rigid, mandated schedule.

5:30 – log off from work, watch tv, chat with friends

6:30 – start dinner

7:00 – eat dinner

7:30 – clean up kitchen

8:00 – bath, read a book (typically something fun & fiction)

8:30 – watch tv & relax OR do some computer work/online courses, have a glass or two of wine and/or dessert

9:30 – clean up any knick knacks that accumulated throughout the day, wipe down counters, set up any necessary items for next morning (mug, lemon, notepad)

10pm – sleep!! aka my favorite part of the day

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Hopefully this breakdown of my morning, noon, and nightly routines gives you some ideas for your day and reminds you of how much better you feel when you stick to a schedule. Having daily targets and a sense of structure help achieve both short and long term goals and allow for a productive day, rather than the bed-and-netflix spiral I have been prone to in the past, and especially now with quarantine. This post is as much a reminder for me when I get off track as it is for others. The power of consistency and routine can change your attitude and change your life.

If you have any question, tips, recommendations, or want to share your routine, comment below or let me know on my Instagram, @hannahfaithprice!

EFT – tapping your way through a pandemic, a worldwide movement, and your daily anxieties

As some of you may know, and as many can relate, I have anxiety. For many of us, our anxiety has largely been exacerbated during this time. While my personal situation during this worldwide pandemic has been truly a blessing, and many are far less fortunate than I, there are still aspects of this time that have put me into anxious spiral. In addition, the conversations around and continued learning of racism and the Black Lives Matter movement has added to a lot of the concern, stress, and anxiety. While all of this is extremely important and I by no means intend to take away from or diminish the responsibility of people in doing this work, maintaining mental health practices and decreasing anxiety so we can continue the conversations we need to be having is also necessary.

In order to help others, you must help yourself.

Throughout quarantine, I have significantly increased daily practices in meditation, yoga, and self care, which have aided in significant overall improvements. However, when I feel a particularly crippling wave heading my way, I have started implementing EFT practices and felt wonderful results for my anxieties.

If you haven’t heard of EFT, I believe it can be an extremely helpful technique, especially while we are distanced in so many ways. EFT, or emotional freedom technique, is a tapping technique to help reduce anxiety. It is based on similar principles to acupuncture and the points on your body that can effect your mood, health, wellness, and more. For me, EFT has been especially enjoyable because it is free, personalized, easy, and requires no doctors visit, therapists office, or prescription. I have not found a prescription that suited my needs and am not actively on a therapy routine, and while I am no doctor and not suggesting anyone use EFT to replace the medications and support systems you need, it has been an easy supplement to my daily mental health routine that is simple and anyone can do.

Here are some basic steps below:

1. Start by identifying, if possible, the root of the anxiety
   • This can be hard, especially for me when I often have generalized anxiety that I struggle to pinpoint or find triggers of.
   • What works best for me is to acknowledge my feelings around the anxiety in the moment, identify any common denominators, and try to use whatever phrase I can come up with to verbalize the problem to myself
   • For example, anxiety can come on for me often times when I have been laying on the couch for several hours at a time, binge watching seemingly mindless tv (Gossip Girl, RHONY, or the like) and comparing myself in countless ways to characters or situations I am seeing. I then often realize these feelings come on because I am perceiving myself as lazy, or wasting time or letting my life slip past me, or I am a failure. I often uncontrollably fear I will not amount to “someone”.
2. While tapping the side of your hand (karate chop point), repeat to yourself “Even though I have insert problem, I deeply and completely accept myself” three times.
   • Following the example above, the sentence I would repeat to myself would be “Even though I am not where I want to be in life, I deeply and completely accept myself”.
   • For this and all following tapping, I use my middle finger to gently and repeatedly tap. It is neither fast nor slow, but it is an intentional tapping that I am focused on while I repeat my mantra to myself and go through the exercise
3. Then, tap each of the following zones 7 times in this order:
   • start of the eyebrow
   • outer corner of the eye
   • under eye
   • under nose/above lips
   • center chin
   • start of the collarbone
   • under the arm
   • top of the head
4. Repeat steps 1-4 until anxiety reduces

I hope you find this technique helpful for you as we all navigate the pandemic, the worldwide movement, and the difficulties we face in our personal lives. Acknowledging my anxiety, sitting with it, facing it, and accepting ourselves in spite of it is the healthiest way for me to heal it more quickly and for longer periods of time.

If you have any questions about EFT or other practices I am implementing in quarantine, please leave a comment below.

Please know you are loved, supported, appreciated, and needed in this world!

15 Ways to Ruin Your Boyfriend’s Life While Quarantined

’cause some things should still be fun, right?

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With all of the world on practical lockdown right now, many of us are spending a significant amount of “quality time” with our SO’s that we aren’t quite used to. Sure, I’ve always imagined how fun a weekend would be getting cabin fever together, trapped in the house all cozy and cuddled up with my love, sleeping in and coffee in bed. But reality hit about 5 hours into day one, and now on day 7 I have a much different perspective on being trapped indoors together (and on him – that’s for another day, though). 

Prior to this caging, I never really realized just how much time men (I use that term lightly) can spend playing video games. Or watching people play video games. Or talking about video games. Frankly, I thought I was in for a treat when all sports were put on hold and I wouldn’t have to hear the phrase “line-up” anymore, but now I long for the days where I had the TV remote and he was in his own world, nose pressed against the phone screen organizing thoroughly researched players into a competition that would undoubtedly lose. Instead, my well-organized, decorated, and beautifully curated living room has become a gamer’s sanctuary, with coffee mugs and open Cheez-It boxes scattered across the floor. I am a guest in my own home.

Initially, I tried to keep things civil. Sure, rest your sweaty feet on my glass coffee table 5 minutes after you watched me clean it. No, no, eat your Chex-Mix on my couch – I can vacuum again later. Don’t worry about me quietly reading in the other room, yell as you need! I wouldn’t want to interrupt your “me time”.

Now, a full 40 hour work week of Call of Duty and MLB The Show later, I’m saying fuck it. While I’m relatively non-confrontational, I have found these little things can make his day even just 2% more difficult – and that makes me 10x happier.

1. Unplug the HDMI to the PS4 every time he leaves the room for a semi-extended period of time (showering, pooping, walking the dog).
2. Put the video game controller and headset “away” in random locations every time he’s “done playing” but leaves them out on the counter. Forget where you placed them when he asks. 
3. Watch Netflix on your laptop on full volume next to him on the couch. Repeatedly sigh and turn down his TV because it’s too distracting.
4. Put the dog’s toy under the couch so she stares at him and barks, and then, with a “really upset tummy”, hide in the bathroom until she annoys him enough to get on the floor and get her the toy.
5. Use all of the coffee mugs for various random things and leave them dirty in the sink overnight so he has to hand wash one for his much-needed morning refresher after an all-nighter with the boys.
6. Swap the bags inside his favorite snack boxes so he thinks he’s having one snack but getting something entirely different.
7. Be overly difficult with dinner options. Blame it on the fact that crazy hoarders wiped the shelves clean and you just have no appetite for anything. Disagree with everything he suggests until he is so distraught he opts to go out and get you Chipotle.
8. Leave the Brita filter empty and blame it on him if you need to use it before he does.
9. Strip the bed sheets and leave washing them until very late. Go to bed with the only blanket you have in the house before he comes to sleep – and don’t share.
10. Play your favorite music while you pace around the house aimlessly – don’t actually do any chores. I like to play the same song I know he hates on repeat so he spends the rest of the day singing it.
11. Wash all the towels when you know he is about to shower. 
12. When you do finally get ahold of the TV, play Gossip Girl, Real Housewives of New York, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, or some other overly-girly show. 
13. Vacuum the patch of carpet in front of the TV repeatedly. It is very dirty. 
14. Finish the creamer and put the empty container back in the fridge. 
15. When you make any food for him, add a dash of something he hates. For my gamer, it’s too much garlic and/or salt. Eat up, babe! 

If you’re going to be trapped indoors, you may as well have fun. Good luck ladies, and remember that wine always, always helps.

Is being good at your job good enough?

Ever since I was young, I’ve been passionate about being successful. Not actually passionate about any specific career or achievement, but simply passionate about being a person worth remembering. This misdirected passion has plagued my entire young adult life. With no clear goals or targeted ambition, it has often felt like a bullet without a gun. Powerful, directed, and unstoppable, but incapable of being those things without the support it needs to take off in the first place.

As members of the “You can be anything you want when you grow up” generation, many of my fellow millennials are plagued with this discomfort, too. Despite being told we could have any career we wanted, we were never truly able to figure out what that was or how to get it. While being the generation most blessed with opportunity for exciting, empowered careers, many of us have also been cursed with crippling student loan debt and the pressure to still meet standards of success based on titles and salaries alone. Though my parents always believed I had the ability to be anything I wanted, they also believed I needed to make a certain amount of money, work at a certain type of company, and do traditional, respectable work. Despite having all the faith in me as a person and my abilities, the faith they lacked was in the system, the “man”, and the job market. In so many ways, that systemic fear, the lack mentality so many generations before have grown with, tampered with the potential we all had to be whatever we truly wanted, not just what was needed.

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Growing up as a first generation college student meant a lot of pressure to perform, but I always thrived under that. The attention doled out to me over the years for exceptional grades, membership in scholarly clubs, and leadership roles I soon craved to take on became the fire that gave me my edge. My name in the paper, spoken at an assembly, or even simple, obligatory applause in class fueled my competitive nature, and I soon found that vague goal of success was actually a goal to be absolutely anything prestigious, especially as it came to a career. I was accepted to the University of Washington under the premise that I would be pre-med, despite the fact that I spent countless early high school mornings in the biology study hall with a patient teacher and several other flailing students. My first chemistry class at the university level was, undoubtedly, a joke. With 400 students, I had nowhere to shine as I was so used to before in my small hometown. But even if I had found that attention I so craved, it was the first time I didn’t have the knowledge to actually back it up. I received a 1.3 for the course, my first collegiate grade, first anything under an A-, and I panicked. As a prior walking success story and knowing I could be anything I wanted if I just decided, I accepted that “MD” would never follow my name. Why try again and fail, again, if I was great at all things except chemistry? One week later, I was a pre-law student.

College continued in this pattern, as I realized law was boring and not a guaranteed post-college job – declared business, was denied acceptance into the undergraduate business program – declared political science, and graduated, pretending I would go on to DC and lobby or work on “the hill”, as my classmates so fondly referred to it. I failed to receive internships that would actually catapult my career, instead working as a nanny, waitress, or ‘marketing assistant’ (aka mail-person and LinkedIn-request-sender). However, I still saw myself as eventually successful. This was just the beginning of my Oprah story. You have to have the shit jobs first before you become a household name, a person that matters. During all of this, all of these continued failures and roadblocks and adjustments, I still somehow was chasing eventual prestige and paycheck. Even now, I fear I have continued to do the same.

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Four years after graduating, and three jobs in, I am still nowhere near close to the powerful, successful career woman I imagined I would be. I’ve gone from editorial intern to marketing specialist, and recently made a serious and unexpected pivot into recruiting, and all the while still feel this very, very big hole. Like something is truly missing about me. Like no matter where I go or what I do, I am always missing my “calling”. Like somehow, though now it seems expected, I failed to do something right and I’ve lost all hope of ever being truly fulfilled in my career. Like it’s too late to be the version of myself I created in my mind. Despite being exceptional at my current job, and loving so many aspects of it (and the fat, fat paycheck that can follow), I still find myself most days questioning what in the hell I am doing with my life. Staring blankly – full of boredom, hope, and the pit of past rejection – at my monitor while I ponder what I would be doing instead if I could. The misdirected “passion” now has landed itself on writing, journalism, working in a magazine under Anna Wintour, and absorbing so much cultural genius I can’t help but be engaged at all times. And then I wonder, will I just be questioning there, too?

For now, as many of my generation are stuck doing, I work for the paycheck. I worry about the student loan debt for the fancy degree I don’t use, the credit card bill I racked up trying to “enjoy my 20’s” and flex on Instagram, the rent for the apartment far, far out of my price range so people think I’m wealthier (i.e. happier) than I am. For now, I settle knowing that I am good at my job, and maybe that can be enough. That maybe the point of it all isn’t to be on the cover of Forbes 30 under 30 issue (26, time is a-wasting!) or to have created my own business or made a real name for myself. Maybe the point of this whole job revolution is to go back to the way things were. To just be good enough at something, pay your bills, and save your passions for after hours.

After all, how would any of us millennials have successful instagrams, blogs, podcasts, and side hustles if we were actually satisfied in our careers?

THE PERFECT MIDI DRESS

There is nothing better than popping into a store to cool down when it’s 90 degrees outside and accidentally finding the perfect new item for your wardrobe that you didn’t even know you were missing. Thank you, New York heat wave.

This midi dress from Urban Outfitters makes all of my goosebumps rise up – it is the perfect dress for every season. Though I have only owned it now for 3 weeks, in the hottest summer known to man (truly, the boob sweat has been unreal), I can hardly wait to style this dress year-round.

Summer: Grab a crossbody bag and some delicate sandals for on-the-go chic that keeps you cool.

Spring: Add a cardigan – great for those cooler nights by a fire pit with a glass of wine.

Fall: Throw a leather jacket over the top, great for a girls brunch in the fall.

Winter: Pair with black patent booties and an oversized sweater for the perfect winter date night look.

It’s honestly about to be the most versatile dress you own, and you’ll be seeing a lot more of it on my feed!

You can buy this perfect year-round midi dress here!

olive oil skincare

Skincare has never been my strong suit – growing up, I had terribly acne-prone skin, dry patches, and all the wrong products. During my worst acne years, I tried just about everything under the sun to avoid medication – specialty soaps, bar soap, $100 topical treatments, derma-facials, extraction facials – you name it, I’ve tried it. And sure, most of my issues were hormonal acne in my teens, but this problem (though not nearly to this degree) plagued me throughout college and the years since. Since then, I have struggled to keep a routine that is easy, manageable, and affordable. Now 25, I could try seaweed facials and at-home peels, but the one thing that has completely revolutionized my skin AND that I have successfully maintained as a routine has been extra virgin olive oil.

I first heard of olive oil as a skincare regimen from The Skinny Confidential. She mentioned how many women, myself included, feel as though makeup wipes tug at facial skin, leaving it dry, burned, irritated, or even just unclean, and how expensive & wasteful this routine was. Every girl I know has face wipe, eye makeup remover, face wash, and moisturizer in her drawer for the off chance she may one day take her makeup off after a drunk night out (still not me, smh). However, olive oil could successfully complete all of the expected tasks of each of these products, and at a cheaper price tag and quicker routine time.

Sign me up.

I first started using extra virgin olive oil about 8 months ago, as winter was about to begin. I have always struggled with dry spots that turn acne ridden due to the weather and my naturally oily skin attempting to overcompensate for the changes in humidity out here. This past winter, I decided to try olive oil as a means to avoid the seasonal breakouts from the dryness and combat my oily skin from producing more oil (old tip – stripping oil from your skin only tells your skin to produce more oil – instead, focus on moisturizing your skin so it doesn’t have to produce those pore-clogging oils we all hate seeing in group pics after a day wine tasting with the girls). Additionally, as a habitual sleep-with-my-makeup-on-er, I wanted an easy and quick all in one step to help my drunk and sober (lbh, when is this?) self to take makeup off and take care of my skin at least 2% more than recent events. I went to my favorite grocery store, walked down the organic aisle, grabbed an unnecessarily large bottle of EVOO, and began my routine.

First things first – to successfully use EVOO in your skincare routine, you also need cotton balls and/or QTips. When I first began, I poured the olive oil in my hand and rubbed it on my face before bed. This left me ULTRA moisturized (we’re talking upper lip olive oil sweat at 3am) and with all my makeup on still, as all I had successfully done was spread it across my face and neck. The best technique for me has been a cotton ball lightly covered in olive oil and then soaked with hot water. The hot water helps cut the oiliness so you aren’t sitting around waiting for a bowl of pasta to land on your face, but doesn’t stop the oil from doing the moisturizing magic it’s here for. Plus, the cotton ball helps to remove the makeup from your face rather than take your mascara to your neck for a trendy new look.

Initially, the smell was strange to me, but I was able to overcome this. I now look forward to the smell because my fat ass loves olive oil and it satisfies some deep fat girl cravings within me. My routine currently and for the last 8 months consists of at least once, ideally twice a day EVOO cleansing of my skin.

Now, if you’re an overachiever, which I can assume you know I am not, you would want your routine to look like this:

1. Lightly douse cotton ball with massive and heavy bottle of EVOO

2. Soak cotton ball in HOT (not cold, it doesn’t cut the oiliness) water and squeeze out excess

3. Use cotton ball to remove makeup from face/neck/eyes (THE best waterproof makeup remover ever ever ever). Use multiple cotton balls if a cake face or you deem necessary

4. Wash face with cleanser and something exfoliating (like a Clarisonic or similar)

5. Tone face with a light toner like Kate Somerville

6. Repeat 1&2 and use cotton ball to moisturize face in circular motions, moving upwards as to avoid the effects of gravity and postpone the all-inevitable wrinkle

7. Top with a topical ointment or oil (more on this later, when I’ve tested my new ointment for a few more weeks)

8. Go to bed satisfied

If you’re lazy like me, you do 1-3 and call it good. You’re welcome, face, that I even took the makeup off.

As an oily-skinned girl, this has resulted in a huge change in the quality and texture of my skin. I now have maybe 1 breakout/pimple every month, usually hormonal, and have minor blackheads/white heads since this change. Sure, my skin isn’t baby-soft, but I’m also doing the bare minimum and I am still pleased with the results. As a formerly acne-ridden high schooler, leaving the house with no makeup on is a huge win.

I would recommend anyone with dry or oily skin try this routine for at least one month. You may feel excessively oily at times – if so, take a hot, wet cotton ball (no oil) and go over your face one more time. This will help pick up any oily residue you may have left. But don’t be afraid to use natural oils to treat your skin. Olive oil is non-comedogenic and will not clog your pores, so the only thing you have to really lose is your silk pillowcase (recommend you ditch that if you’re using olive oil at night). I have loved olive oil as skincare, makeup remover, and moisturizer for over 8 months now and will not go back. I am now doing this routine year-round, and loving it. Plus – I’m still using the same bottle I originally bought, rather than purchasing 8+ 30-day packs of makeup wipes that neither remove makeup nor moisturize.

Try it, let me know your thoughts. Worst case scenario, you now have nice, organic EVOO to cook your pasta. You’re welcome.

from pageant to pudgy: my untransformation & body image struggles

do you ever look back on a photograph of yourself, and instead of remembering the moment or that time of your life, you simply stare at how different you look now than you did then?

maybe you’ve changed your hair, or have better style. for many of us, our eyebrows were terrible until the last few years (thank you, anastasia beverly hills). or maybe you see what i see the most – a completely different body.

instead of looking back at the memories and missing old friends, or laughing about fun trips, i stare at how slim my arms were, or how toned my thighs used to be. i see the definition in my stomach and the clothes i was once comfortable in. and instead of reliving fun memories, i find myself angry at the body i now know, and frustrated for losing the one i once had.

as most people, in high school i had the metabolism of a cheetah. i could eat whatever i wanted while avoiding the gym at all cost and maintaining a thin frame. sure, i was never model-tiny by any means, and i could’ve been more toned had my diet and workout been under control, but i was a teenager and that hadn’t been a priority. i came home from school, made chocolate milk, whipped up an entire box of macaroni for myself, and took a nap.

when i started competing in pageants at 17, not much changed. i had been required to join the tennis team for school, so there had been some physical exertion i was previously great at avoiding, but my diet remained stable. i ate what i wanted when i wanted it and never thought twice. the night before my first pageant, when i knew i would have to walk in front of a thousand people in a swimsuit the very next day, i stress-ate an entire tub of chocolate chip cookie dough. i’m talking the big, round tub that makes eighty million cookies, consumed by a then small-framed 17 year old girl shoveling her feelings into her face. the next day, i put on my two piece, walked the stage in tight gowns, and won my first pageant.

18 years old competing at miss washington 2012

looking back on that moment just reminds me how i have always been dependent on food. food has been my rock for my entire life. it is a constant in my ever-changing life and has helped me to balance navigating my teens and now 20s. so now that my metabolism doesn’t want to participate anymore at 25 years old, i am stuck in the body of a woman i do not know. i went from ‘hollow-legged hannah’ for almost 21 years, eating anything in sight like there was no tomorrow, to counting every carb, sugar, fat, protein into my body because i have gained over 40 pounds out of the blue. it sometimes feels like i am living someone else’s life.

i went from an always confident pageant queen, waltzing down runways and posting photos of myself all of the time, to someone who hides in her clothes and scrutinizes every item in her closet and every photo before its allowed to be seen by others. even with this blog, it has been so difficult to keep momentum when everything i put on was bought for a body severals tens of pounds lighter than the one i have now. everything is tight, highlights the unwanted, and just brings me back to that feeling of disappointment in the one thing that is mine and only mine. i’ve gone up at least 3 sizes, 4 in some brands. and yes, size doesn’t matter and weight is just a number – but it’s more than that. i’m not obese, and i know weight gain is a natural part of aging. it’s less the weight itself and more the fact that i barely recognize myself anymore.

25, working out in nyc for fashion week

sure, i’ve worked out and eaten clean and lost the weight in the past. i’ve never gotten back to my pageant weight, but i’ve been closer over the last handful of years. but it never lasts. i workout, restrict myself, cry over food and stare at the scale for hours so i can wear that one swimsuit on my senior year spring break to cabo, just to gain all of it back and then some. it’s never been sustainable. no one else in my life diets or worries about their weight or actively works out, and it is almost impossible to keep that momentum going when your surroundings are fighting you on it constantly.

but that’s what this blog was meant to be – a community where you and i can relate, be honest and learn from each other. i can wallow in this self-pity again, blame my metabolism or the programs i’ve tried and given up on, or the people who are in my life who don’t have to worry the way i do. or, i can build a new community to support each other, and try again. every time i fail a diet, or fail a workout program, i call it just that – “failure”. but it’s not – it’s progress. and not finishing a program or perfectly following a diet doesn’t mean that i can’t make progress again in the future. i still have the time, energy, resources, and functioning body that allows me to make a change if i so choose.

for the month of may, i have decided i’m going to do 30 minutes of cardio every single day. i can be running, walking, jogging, on an incline or not. just simply moving my body for a minimum of 30 minutes a day. my goal is that this is a small enough change that it is impossible to not do. making big, life-altering changes won’t help me in the long run, and i’d rather be healthy and happy forever than for one vacation.

you can follow my instagram stories for my daily posts of my cardio. hold me accountable, people! this blog, instagram, fitness – it all needs to be a community. and if you want to join me, let me know in the comments! or DM me! i would love to do this journey with you. maybe together we can learn to love our bodies the way they are, for all the amazing things they can do, and stop concerning ourselves with the way they used to be.

where do friendships go to die?

we all know that not every friendship can last forever. like boyfriends, apartments, and hairstyles (thank god), sometimes friends are better for a certain season of life than for the whole ride. but how do we know when that time has come to let a friendship go?

recently, i visited my college campus after 2 years since my last trip west. when i moved a few years ago from seattle to d.c., i had high hopes that i would return within a year. i planned on staying with my college boyfriend after the short stint of long distance and moving back to the west coast with my past friendships and future life goals intact. however, as quickly as my bags were unpacked, my friendships (and relationship) began fading. my boyfriend and i broke up, and i realized seattle was no longer the end game. phone calls and facetimes with college besties turned into snapchats and text messages, until eventually even those were too “difficult” for us to keep up with.

while the distance made an impact on many of my relationships, i had successfully maintained my best friend through it all with checkins, updates, and phone calls over the years. she visited me and we both reached out to each other, knowing that we valued each other more than the inconvenience of reaching out. but with other friends, it wasn’t the same. their efforts were exhausting or annoying to me, or my efforts were falling on deaf ears. had that distance finally proven that we were friends out of convenience, and not actually out of friendship?

in school settings especially, friendships are easy to form. everyone has school in common and are likely in similar stages of life. in college, i joined a sorority where we had sisterhood, classes, and events in common in addition to the fact that we all had similar goals, family structures and ages, and significant other issues we all faced. it is so easy to become friends when everything about the other person and their life, problems, and concerns mirror what you’re going through. complaining about your dead-beat high school boyfriend to your roommate who also is having issues with her long-distance beau is effortless. but as those commonalities start to shift, so does the friendship.

suddenly, it’s harder to talk to that friend about your boyfriend issues, because her fiancé proposed last month. your situation with your parents is now no longer relatable because you live at home, and she lives in a beautiful high-rise apartment on her own. your concerns about work and career growth are seemingly irrelevant when she just received a promotion and a pay raise. it becomes nearly impossible to relate to that person as effortlessly as you did before.

and for me, the jealousy has become a major factor. i don’t want to share with you how frustrating my boyfriend has been because he plays video games with his friends on a sunny saturday after i get the snapchat of your boyfriend making you breakfast in bed. i don’t want to hear you tell me “at least you’re living rent free” when i complain about being 25 and living at home, because you think you wish you could still live at home and save money instead. i don’t want to rain on your promotion parade with my depression about where my career is going and the epic failure i feel i am in relation to my goals. all this comparison does is create a wedge in the friendship that we never had before. no longer are we two girls going through life together – now we are two individuals comparing our lives to one another.

over time and distance, almost all of my college friendships faded, as i had anticipated some would. i have never been one to keep friends around after the season has dried up – in fact, i’m unfortunately known for the cut-and-run when i no longer feel i can rely on you the way i did before. but when i visited seattle again this month, these faded friendships hit me like a bag of bricks. these people who had shaped me so much – been so integral to the woman i became, held me when i cried, told me how valuable of a person i was – no longer even wanted to see me when i was in town for the first time after years. it was like pulling teeth to try and even grab a glass of wine to reminisce the good ole days together when these people had so completely changed and moved on from me. i realized these relationships were over long before i had landed in the city, recognizing that some individuals just hadn’t ever tried. and with others, i hadn’t tried either. i didn’t reach out over the years, keep in touch, or make an effort worthy of people who had been so important to me once before.

the hardest part of it all is that the friendships died so unintentionally. i had every intention of moving back to seattle and being friends with these girls forever. they were to be my bridesmaids, my children’s aunties, my wine and t-ball dates. and even when i decided not to move back, we would’ve had girls trips and reunions in my mind (think: carrie bradshaw wedding-less honeymoon with the girls).

but, not all friendships are meant to live on forever. i may not be a bridesmaid in 15 sister’s weddings, but i will be in at least one. i may not raise my kids with their kids, but i will make friends with fellow parents in my neighborhood. and while i still need to work on my jealousy issues (hello, therapy), i will gladly watch them succeed from afar and know the impact they forever made on me. friendships don’t all have to die a painful death, and there can still be love there – even when that’s all we have in common anymore.

 

nyfw: how to

hiiiiiii all! yes, it’s been ages. yes, i’ve been slacking. yes, i will be better. no, i haven’t been busy, just lazy. k, glad we cleared that up.

as you know because you are my loyal followers and love everything i do and say and wear, i went to last month’s fashion week in new york city. it was INCREDIBLE. the most beautiful looks, absolutely amazing energy, and the most invigorating experience in fashion i have ever had. ever. and this is coming from a former pageant girl.

i wanted to give you my tips and tricks on how-to fashion week, so we can all best prepare for september’s shows and kill another season. keep in mind, this was my first (and only!) time at fashion week, so i’m going to share with you what i did do, what i didn’t do, and what i will do next time. without further ado, here’s how to get invited to shows and sit in the front rows (i love rhymes, sorry).

summary for lazy readers: you get invites to shows via emails to PR teams, dress to impress if you want to sit front row, stay close to chelsea area to save time and money

1. get a hotel to sponsor your stay – I DID NOT DO THIS but i 100% will next time

• i read from a whole variety of bloggers that this is 1) very doable and 2) very helpful during fashion week. it is the same as asking for an invite to a show, so approach this as a business partnership between you and the hotel. this is a template i drafted that you can use in your letters:
• • Good morning, My name is __________ and I am the blogger behind __________ , a __________ blog. I am attending New York Fashion Week this February/September and will be documenting my stay and experiences on my blog and social channels. For my upcoming weekend, I plan to take photographs and write articles about my experience during New York Fashion Week and around the city to share with my followers the best way to experience the city and this exciting time of year. Given this project, I am reaching out to inquire if you provide support to bloggers. My followers love to engage with __________ (ideally travel, hotel, experiences in addition to fashion) and I am excited to show them the ease of staying in New York City with __________ (hotel). Between all channels, I have a reach of __________ people. Please find links to my website and social pages below. I will be visiting from __________ to __________. Thank you for your time and consideration. Best, Signature, Name, Blog Link, Email, Phone Number, Social Links (i.e. Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, etc.)
• definitely ask EARLY is what i have heard, as hotels fill up fast around show week
• also, we stayed in midtown this time, but personally i prefer soho and it would save a ton of money to stay there or just lower manhattan in general. we spent so much money and time in ubers and cabs getting to and from the hotel changing for shows and dinners and activities, and i think if you could stay more central to the hub (from my experience, that would be pier 59 in chelsea) then you can save yourself a lot of headaches

 

2. reach out to PR companies that represent the shows you are available to see during your stay

• this i did do, so you can trust me a little more that this works. again, i would do this early before the season really picks up as tickets are limited. when the show list comes out, look up when the shows are and which PR companies and points of contact are listed. i used www.fashionweekonline.com to find the schedule and www.modemonline.com to find contacts. this is the exact template i used to get my invites:
• • Good morning, My name is __________ and I am the blogger behind __________, a __________ blog. I am attending NYFW and would like to request an invite and/or access to the backstage area of the __________ show in exchange for press on my website and social media channels. Between all channels, I have a reach of __________ people. My Instagram is __________. Please contact me at any time. Thank you, and I look forward to hearing from you! Name, Instagram, Blog Link, Email, Phone Number
• YES, you will be ignored. YES, you will get nos. YES you will inevitably be invited to shows you can’t make. that sucks but it is what it is. i didn’t get invited to any “big name” shows, but it is still an amazing opportunity to see shows, sitting or standing, especially because you never know who the next big hit will be
• next time, i think i will stay during the week – unfortunately, we got in midday on friday and left midday on sunday, and a lot of the bigger shows and people-watching seems to be during the week. if you can take the days off, maybe try that approach

 

3. if you want to sit front row, get there early and dress impressively

• only one of the tickets i got during my stay was a seated assignment, and that happened to be the show i missed (bummer). the rest were standing assignments, meaning you stand behind the rows and bob and weave past people’s heads and massive fucking iphone cases to see anything. (still worth it)
• if you don’t get a seated assignment, fear not. get there early enough and wear something impressive. honestly, i believe that is what got me seated FRONT ROW at my FIRST show ever. it was a combination of preparedness, uniqueness, and chance.
• • this was the night i wore the all hot pink (or all red as many were saying) suit – it was a standout among the crowd! people stopped me all night long about my look and how cute or bold or unique it was. being both prepared and your most authentic, badass self showing off your personality is what gets you noticed

luck is when preparation meets opportunity

 

now, here’s a list of the things i did not do that i will 100% do next time:

1. spend a day sitting outside of the shows
2. • yes, this is hard in february because its -19284 degrees, but in september this is probably easier. this is your chance to see celebrities and major influencers coming and going from shows, watch the incredible streetstyle from all the attendees, and soak up some of the amazing creative energy new york has to offer during fashion week (and always, honestly)
3. attend fashion-week parties and events
4. • brands and companies with a variety of products (lulus to refinery 29 and more) host parties and events during this week. get in touch with PR people for those events and attend for the networking and the amazing goody bags
5. pass out my business card like a fucking hot potato
6. • i really regret missing this opportunity. the number of people i met, spoke to, or was stopped by, i really should have been passing out my (bad quality, but still) business cards. this is a huge opportunity to grow your network, make friends, and gain authentic followers who you already know are 1) like-minded and 2) interested in what you have to share
7. try even bolder outfits
8. • no, i’m not gonna rock a lady gaga-esque money clip (not a joke, saw that in real life), but street style is some of my favorite to follow and see, and i would love to explore more of that. though my looks were bomb, don’t get me wrong, i really would love to do some even bolder, edgier looks. maybe one day i will be dressed by dior for their show, but in the meantime, h&m and forever 21 are my go-tos for those looks

 

lastly, remember to also pack comfy shoes (lots of walking), comfy clothes (be prepared to be bloated after pizza at old rose), extra contacts, a hair brush in your purse, pore-minimizing balm (i used this one), under eye masks (again, here’s what i used), eat and drink to your heart’s content, and just have fun. once you’re there, its hard not to!

 

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i hope you learned something or at least found this break down a little more interesting after being forced to watch my story and my incessant posting for the weekend. just prepare yourself for september. 😉

as always, if you have any questions, concerns, or additional advice, send it my way!

khloe k or hfp? you decide

denim jacket – forever21

skirt (worn as a dress) – fashionnova set

heels – justfab (doesn’t look like they sell anymore, so this is the closest pair i could find online

bag – michael kors

sunglasses – quay